he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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