i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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