I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
