he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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