question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
