He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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