i don't like sucking hair
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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