Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
