She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
