If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
