the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So many bounce houses so little time
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
