its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
whose ass print is on the piano?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize