And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
