DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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