his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
either way he was missing a nipple.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
