I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
