I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
