if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize