How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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