You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
