david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
