So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
