I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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