you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
