Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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