I bet he comes in French.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
