that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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