I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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