Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
