he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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