After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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