Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
