11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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