We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
