You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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