Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
