You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
