Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
