Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
