whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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