the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize