Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
