i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
