so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
