dude i'm inner monologue high
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
