Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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