Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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