he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
