im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My pussy is not your playground.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
