we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
