Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
