HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize