I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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