FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
