Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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