mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
