One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
