You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
