The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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