I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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