Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize