so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
