you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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