Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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